"I am blunt and I like to smoke blunts. Most people bullshit their emotions because they are vaginas. I don't. I will speak my mind whether you like it or not. That's I how roll...with an abundance of bluntness bitch." - Blunt GuyEpisodes/skits are broken down into 1-minute clips or less.
BLUNT GUY
“The Nanny”
Episode 1
FADE IN:
INT. BLUNT GUY'S CAR - DAY
RANDY who drives his brother’s NANNY around town. She is obviously into him but RANDY is just hanging out to show her around.
NANNY
Thank you for driving me all over town Randy. Your town looks like a lot of fun.
RANDY
It’s not bad. Can get old.
NANNY
Well maybe you can show me around town one night?
RANDY
Maybe.
The Nanny’s cell phone RINGS.
NANNY
Hello? Oh hi Mandy! Yeah I’m with Randy right now. Ok...yeah I’ll definitely ask him.
Randy pulls up in front of his brother’s house.
NANNY
Randy, do you wanna go out tonight with me and my friend Mandy?
RANDY
That rhymes.
NANNY
Yeah it does, doesn’t it!
RANDY
Is Mandy hot?
-with slight hesitation.
NANNY
Yeah...she’s pretty cute.
RANDY
Hot or cute?
NANNY
...hot.
RANDY
You had a hesitation. No thanks.
Nanny looks at him, confused.
NANNY
What? Why not?
RANDY
Because she’s not hot.
NANNY
But, what about me?
RANDY
What about you?
As he pulls his blunt out from his ear.
NANNY
You don’t think I’m hot or cute?
RANDY
Nope.
Nanny stares at him -- pissed off.
RANDY
Wow, you’re a blunt jerk!
As Randy lights his BLUNT.
RANDY
Nooo...I’m a Blunt GUY!
Randy faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!
END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BLUNT GUY
“CHURCH MORNINGS”
Episode 2
FADE IN:
INT. BLUNT GUY'S BEDROOM - MORNING
Just waking up, Blunt Guy pulls out a blunt from his dresser and a Maxim magazine. He goes through the pages as his right hand goes under the sheets.
BLUNT GUY
Oh yeaa. These chicks are hottt.
Suddenly, his PARENTS knocks on the door and enters. Blunt Man hides his magazine.
BLUNT GUY
Don’t you guys ever knock?
FATHER
Randy, this is our house.
BLUNT GUY
And this is my room.
MOTHER
Randy? Are you coming to church with us?
BLUNT GUY
No.
MOTHER
Why not dear?
BLUNT GUY
Because I don’t really believe in God. Can you close my door now? I’m losing my hard-on.
His Parents both look at each other in disbelief. They leave. Blunt Guy lights up his blunt.
He faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!
END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BLUNT GUY
“RESTAURANT DINNER”
Episode 3
FADE IN:
INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING
Blunt Guy is eating dinner with a GIRL he is just friends with. The WAITRESS walks over.
WAITRESS
Hi, how is everything?
GIRL
Oh it’s great, thanks.
BLUNT GUY
It’s horrible.
WAITRESS
What?
BLUNT GUY
Very bad.
The Girl looks at Blunt Man, embarrassed.
WAITRESS
I’m sorry. Why, what was wrong?
BLUNT GUY
Ehh the food just really sucks, ya know. Really fucking sucks.
Waitress is in complete disbelief.
WAITRESS
Well, is there anything I can do for you?
BLUNT GUY
Yeah, you could get under the table and give me a hummer right about now.
The Waitress makes a loud squealing noise and walks away. The Girl stares at Blunt Guy in disbelief as Blunt Guy lights up his blunt.
He faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!
END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BLUNT GUY
“MOVIE THEATER”
Episode 4
FADE IN:
INT. MOVIE THEATER LOBBY - DAY
Blunt Guy walks into a movie theater to apply for a job. He approaches the front desk where the MANAGER is talking to his employees.
BLUNT GUY
Excuse me.
CASHIER
Hi, how can I help you?
BLUNT GUY
Are you the Manager?
CASHIER
No.
The Manager overhears.
MANAGER
Hi, I’m the Manager. How can I help you?
BLUNT GUY
Yeah, I noticed you guys are hiring. What do I need to do get a job working here?
MANAGER
Well, you first have to fill out this application and we will review it. If you meet our qualifications, we’ll call you up and have you come in to take a drug test and then you can start.
As Blunt Guy pulls out his blunt from his ear.
BLUNT GUY
Drug test??
The Manager looks at him, shocked.
BLUNT GUY
Heyy man, if I can’t smoke the grass then I’ll pass. Peace!
Blunt Guy turns around and as he walks away as he lights up his blunt.
He faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!
END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.
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